Don't
by Rainedonmyparade
Summary: "You can't do this. I'm with Matthew and you're with Stephanie and…and you're not allowed to look at me like that. Not anymore." Written as a prompt for Haspen who asked for a Japril affair. Set at the beginning of season 10. Rated M for sexual references and strong language.


_Hey guys! So this is a little something I've been working on for the lovely Haspen who prompted me to write a Jackson/April affair one shot! It took me ages to finally get it done (sorry Haspen!) but I hope the wait was worth it! The story is rated a heavy M. (Actually lets be honest, it's pretty much just a piece of Japril porn) so if the whole reading about sex thing isn't your style than you might wanna turn your innocent little eyes away from this bad boy ;)_

_Ok so after watching the famous Merder exam room sex scene again I couldn't help but think Japril needed something hot and sexy like that...hopefully you guys like it...lemme know what you think :)_

_Set end of season 9/beginning of season 10...and lets just imagine for the sake of this fic that the whole bus explosion never happened, okay?_

_Enjoy! And as always feel free to review!_

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><p>Jackson takes a drink from his beer, enjoying the way the alcohol goes down his dry throat. It's the night of April and Matthew's engagement party and he's standing in the middle of April's crowded living room, surrounded by all of her and Matthew's friends and family. He's standing with Alex, Jo and Stephanie, listening to the three of them talk about a surgery Alex performed earlier in the week. Well he's not really listening to them, his attention is focused on someone else entirely.<p>

April's standing on the other side of the crowded room, a bright smile plastered across her face. Jackson can't seem to keep his eyes off of her. She looks beautiful in a black cocktail dress, her hair pulled back into a pretty up-do. The dress is short and it seems to hug her body perfectly, showing off her curves and her smooth, creamy legs.

April clings to Matthew's side, her small body snug against his much bigger one. Matthew leans down to whisper something in her ear and Jackson watches the smile that spreads across April's face, her eyes twinkling with a mixture of affection and delight as she looks up at her boyfriend –_fiancé_.

Jackson clenches his jaw, taking another swig from his beer. He can feel his stomach coil with a familiar twist of jealousy, the same jealousy he always feels whenever he sees April with him, whenever he's forced to watch them together. He knows it's stupid, knows he has no right to feel jealous over the couple. He'd had his chance with April and now she was moving on, she was happy with the paramedic, was busy planning a wedding and a life with her future-husband.

"Jackson?" Steph's voice pulls him from his thoughts and Jackson quickly forces his eyes away from April, turning back to his date. He feels a rush of guilt rip through him as he looks down at Stephanie, his girlfriend. "Are you okay?" she asks, voice filled with concern, her eyes gazing up at him questioningly.

Jackson forces himself to smile, clearing his throat and nodding. "I'm fine," he lies, hoping she believes him. Because, if he was going to be completely honest with himself he definitely wasn't fine. He hasn't been fine in a long time, not really.

She seems to believe the lie, she always believes the lie. Steph smiles, reaching out to hold his hand and turning her attention back to her conversation with Jo. Jackson gazes down at her for a moment, his brow furrowed in deep thought.

He's not sure when things had become so serious between him and the intern. One minute he'd been fucking her in the back of his car, using Steph as a way to relieve his built up frustration, eager to screw his feelings away with some meaningless sex. He'd never meant for things to go any further between them, it was supposed to be a onetime thing, a quick fuck to try and forget about April. But, one quick fuck soon turned into something else entirely and before Jackson knew it Stephanie was staying over at his house and cooking him dinner and doing his washing and calling him her boyfriend, and he was letting her. He was letting her because it was easy and simple and it was better than coming home to an empty house, better than crawling into an empty bed.

He wasn't in love with Stephanie, probably never would be, but Jackson had decided that love was a dangerous thing and it was best if he stayed right away from it.

"Can I please have everyone's attention?" Matthew's loud voice silences the crowded room as everyone turns to look at him. "I would like to say a few words," he says, turning to flash April a smile.

Jackson watches April blush a light shade of pink, returning Matthew's smile and moving awkwardly at his side.

"First of all," Matthew starts. "I would like to thank everyone for being here tonight. It means so much to us that you've come to help us celebrate our engagement. We're blessed to have such great friends in our lives."

The crowd cheers in response.

"And now," he continues, taking a step towards April and reaching out to hold her hand. "I would like to thank April, my beautiful fiancé, for agreeing to marry me and making me the happiest man in the world. April, I love you so much and I can't wait to call you my wife and spend the rest of my life with you." He lifts her hand to his lips, planting a kiss on the back of her palm.

April smiles at him, her eyes glassy with tears of happiness. Jackson's stomach clenches as he watches them, watches as April hugs Matthew, wrapping her arms around his neck and planting a soft kiss on his cheek. "I love you, too," she tells him, voice hitched with emotion.

His chest feels heavy, his body tense. Jackson quickly finishes what's left of his beer, his stomach tight with a feeling he doesn't know how to describe. He wonders if maybe coming here was a mistake, maybe it would have been easier if he stayed right away from her, from them.

"They make such a cute couple," Jo gushes, watching Matthew and April together. "They're so sweet."

"They make me sick," Alex returns, stuffing a vanilla cupcake he'd pinched from the dessert table into his mouth.

"I think they're adorable," Steph adds, wrapping her hands around Jackson's arm and resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm so happy for Kepner," she says. "I'm glad she found someone who makes her happy."

Jackson grumbles something in reply, his body tense next to Stephanie's. His gaze is instantly drawn back to April and he watches as the redhead murmurs something in her fiancés ear. Matthew nods and April doesn't say anything else before quietly slipping out of the crowded room, making her way down the hallway.

Jackson watches her leave, a scowl on his face.

"It's getting late," Steph points out, checking the time on her phone. "We should probably go soon."

Jackson nods, clearing his throat and turning to glance at his date. "I'm going to get another drink first," he tells her. "Do you want one?"

"No thanks."

He excuses himself as Stephanie turns her attention back to Jo, the two interns gossiping about one of the new scrub nurses at work. Jackson pushes his way through the crowd of people, heading in the direction April had gone.

He finds her in the bathroom, fixing her hair in the mirror, her back turned towards the door so she doesn't see him, doesn't realize he's standing in the doorway behind her.

"So you're marrying him?" he asks, his tone sharp as it pierces through the silent room.

He watches her tense at the sound of his voice, her eyes meeting his in the mirror. "Don't," she whispers, shakily.

He furrows his brow, stepping further into the room and turning to close the door behind him. "Don't what?"

"Don't look at me like that." She moves uncomfortably under his gaze. "You're not allowed to look at me like that." She's suddenly angry, enraged. "You can't do this. I'm with Matthew and you're with Stephanie and…and you're not allowed to look at me like that. Not anymore."

"Are you in love with him?" he asks, unable to stop himself.

She spins around to look at him, her eyes filled with anger, her skin flushed a dark shade of pink. "Don't do this," she's pleading with him. "I can't keep doing this, Jackson. We can't do this, okay? Mathew, he's—he's a good man and he loves me and he wants to marry me and—and I'm really trying, I'm trying to be happy with him but I can't breathe…I can't breathe with you looking at me like that!"

He pulls his eyes away from her, running a hand over the back of his neck. "Do you think I want this?" he snaps back, frustrated. "Do you think I want to be looking at you? You think I want to be thinking about you all the time? God, do you honestly think I enjoy watching you with him? Do you really think this is what I want? I'm supposed to be in a relationship with Stephanie and she—she doesn't drive me crazy, she doesn't make it impossible for me to feel normal, she doesn't make me feel sick to my stomach thinking about another man touching her." He sighs in frustration, pulling his eyes back to hers. "God, April, I'd give anything not to be looking at you."

She has her back to him, her hands clutching the edge of the bathroom counter, her eyes downcast as she sucks in a shaky breath. There's a pause between them and he watches her slowly lift her head, her eyes meeting his in the mirror again. Time comes to a stop and he can't breathe, feels his lungs constrict at the look in her eyes, the spark of darkness he sees flash behind her beautiful hazel pools. His gut clenches, a wave of heat spreading throughout his body, settling somewhere deep inside of him.

"Jackson." His name tumbles from her lips in a quiet, almost silent sigh and he watches her turn to him, watches her eyes flutter down to his mouth for the briefest of seconds, before meeting his again. Jackson gulps, feeling the last small ounce of his self-control wash away, replaced with a familiar, overwhelming desire.

And then he's fisting a hand in her hair and she's grabbing onto his arms and his mouth is landing over hers, swallowing the groan that sounds from somewhere inside her. His mouth moves easily, desperately, over hers, eager to consume her, to claim her, to take back what's his.

It's fast and desperate and they both grab at each other, her lips eagerly responding to his. Jackson gently pushes her back so she's pressed against the bathroom counter, pinned between his body and the sink behind her. There's a voice in the back of his mind, a quiet, persistent murmur that tells him to stop, tells him that he's making a mistake. This isn't the way he's supposed to get April back, he isn't supposed to be jumping her in her bathroom on the night of her engagement party to another man. He's acting on impulse, his mind fuzzy with desire and hunger and the need to be buried deep inside of her.

She murmurs his name again, her voice hitched with hunger and causing his body to throb in response. She's grabbing at him, her hands curling into the muscle of his upper arms, silently urging him on. She tastes sweet, like champagne and vanilla cupcakes and a flavour that can only be described as April Kepner. He's consumed by her, by her smell, her taste and the warmth of her body.

He pulls away from the kiss, his mouth trailing over her neck, his hands moving down over her thighs, fingers playing with the hem of her dress. "You've been killing me," he tells her, voice pained against the flushed skin of her neck. She groans, her head tilting back, giving him better access to her throat. "Killing me because I have a girlfriend." His voice catches, his stomach tightening.

He pulls back to look at her, taking in the way her eyes flare with desire and emotion and…and something else entirely. His heart speeds up as he slowly drags her dress up her legs, the fabric hitching around her thighs. "Killing me because even when I'm sliding into her it's your legs I imagine wrapped around me."

She gasps as he presses the palm of his hand between her legs, her head falling back and her nails digging even deeper into his arms. His name falls from her lips as she rocks against him, silently begging for more. He feels how wet she is, even through the lace fabric of her panties, and it does nothing to ease his own hunger, his cock pressing painfully hard against the zipper of his jeans.

She seems to read his mind, seems to know exactly what he wants, and Jackson can't suppress his groan as she reaches out to him, her hands fumbling with the belt on his jeans, hurrying to get them open. April watches him, eyes black with lust and Jackson sucks in a breath, the muscles in his stomach tightening as she slips a hand into his boxers, wrapping around his length.

"Oh, God," he breathes, clamping his eyes closed.

He lets her stroke him a few times before pulling away, opening his eyes and flashing her a smile. "Turn around," he instructs, voice husky against her ear. She looks up at him, her brow drawn together with question. He flashes her a smile, cupping her chin in his hand and letting his lips ghost over hers. "Trust me," he tells her.

She does as she's told, turning around so her back faces his front, her eyes staring back at him in the mirror. He stands behind her, his hands on her waist, his mouth brushing over the back of her neck, causing her skin to prickle in response.

"Jackson," she murmurs, eyes fluttering close, head falling forward.

Jackson presses his body into hers from behind. "Look at me, April."

April opens her eyes, lifting her head to meet his gaze in their reflection. A moment passes between them before he slides his hands up her thighs and gently grasps hold of her panties. She bites her lip, her hands holding onto the counter as he slowly tugs the fabric down her legs, letting them drop to the floor, pooling at her feet.

He stands flush behind her, watching her intently. The sound of party music and laughter can be heard from down the hall, filling the quiet room. His hands go to her hips, his mouth pressing against her shoulder and he smiles at the soft sigh that escapes her lips as her small body presses back into his in a silent plea for more.

He can't wait any longer and he doesn't think as he reaches between them to position himself at her entrance, pushing her dress up so he has better access. Jackson's face rests against the back of her neck as he slowly begins to fill her. He takes his time, suppressing the urge to thrust all the way inside, reminding himself that this is April—_his _April, and he needs to be gentle with her, needs to take his time and make sure she enjoys this as much as he does.

He enters her slowly, almost painfully slow, and his grip on her tightens as he feels her muscles stretch around his shaft. Her eye's close and a guttural noise sounds from somewhere inside of her. She leans over the counter, his name falling from her lips in a breathy moan.

He stills when he's completely inside, enjoying the feel of her around him again; the feel of their bodies coming together. He takes a moment to marvel at how good this feels, how _right_.

"Jackson," she groans, rolling her hips back against his. "Please…I-I need…please _move_."

He watches her in the mirror as he slowly pulls out and thrusts back in, watches her eyes clamp shut, watches her teeth bite into the plump flesh of her bottom lip. He grunts her name, his movements becoming faster and rougher, more desperate.

He pulls at the clip in her hair, letting her soft red curls fall in messy waves around her face. He presses his face into her shoulder and tugs her hips back towards his a little, shifting their angle the slightest degree and letting him reach an even deeper place inside of her.

"Oh, my –God, Jackson!" the words slip from her mouth and he watches her blush in the mirror, watches her gaze flicker upwards to meet his. He wraps an arm around her waist, helping to keep her steady, his thrusts fast and shallow. Jackson isn't sure how much longer he's going to last, can feel himself getting closer and closer to his release.

There's a knock on the bathroom door, the noise startling and causing Jackson to freeze, April tensing beneath him. "Jackson?" Steph's voice sounds from the other side of the door. "Are you in there?"

They're both frozen in place, Jackson's gut tightening at the sound of his girlfriend's voice and the wave of pleasure they'd been riding seems to disappear as reality floods around them.

Jackson gulps, his hands tightening on April's hips, silently telling her not to move. "I-I'll be out in a second," he calls back, hoping Steph doesn't hear the fault in his voice.

April makes a quiet, almost silent, noise that sounds a lot like a whimper and he feels her hips twitch, desperate to keep going, feels her inner muscles tighten around him. Jackson suppresses a groan, his entire body throbbing with the need to move inside of her, the need to finish what they'd started. He was _so close_.

"Are you okay?" Steph asks, sounding concerned. Jackson grits his teeth, cursing her bad timing. "I've been looking for you everywhere."

He sighs, his face resting against April's shoulder and he takes a moment to inhale a deep breath, his fingers digging into her waistline, his entire body throbbing with the overwhelming desire to thrust into her. He feels his gut clench, feels his cock throb as April's inner walls flutter around him.

"I'm fine," he calls back to Steph, a hitch in his voice. "I'll be out in a minute."

There's a pause before Steph finally leaves, the sound of her footsteps retreating down the hall. Jackson relaxes as soon as she's gone, his grip on April loosening.

"Jackson," April whimpers, her hips shifting against his. "Please…Jackson_…so close_!"

He grunts and breathes out her name, quickly giving her what she wants, what they both want. His thrusts are hard and fast and filled with nothing but need and want. April's head falls forward, her arms grabbing onto the counter, struggling to keep herself up as Jackson pounds into her from behind.

He knows he won't last long, can feel himself nearing his orgasm. Needing to make sure she comes first, Jackson slides a hand between her thighs, his thumb brushing over her swollen flesh and causing April to shudder against him. "Come," he urges in her ear, rubbing hard circles against her. "Come for me, April."

She turns her face to his and they both groan as his mouth covers hers. He feels her tense, feels her inner muscles flutter around his length, a silent moan vibrating through her body as she reaches her peak. Jackson pulls away from the kiss, watching her in the mirror. He watches her come completely undone, watches her face screw up as her orgasm washes over her, and it's all it takes to send him over the edge, his body shuddering and her name falling from his lips.

His body collapses over April's, holding onto the counter and resting his face into the curve of her neck, her skin clammy with sweat. They're both fighting to catch their breath and he can feel his heart racing inside his chest, feel it pounding against his ribcage while his lungs fight for air.

They stay like that for a moment, both of them trying to catch their breath while the music from April's engagement party fills the room. Slowly, the enormity of the situation begins to creep over them and he feels April tense, both of them seeming to comprehend what they'd just done at the same time.

They make eye contact in the mirror and he can't help but notice the change in her expression. All traces of desire and lust are completely gone from her features, replaced with a mixture of guilt and uncertainty. Jackson takes a step back from her, turning to fix his pants and trying to ignore the sudden heaviness that weighed down in the air between them.

He hears her move behind him, hears her quickly fix her own clothes. Jackson keeps his back to her, letting April have her privacy while she redresses. "April," he murmurs, running the palm of his hand over the back of his neck. "Are you okay?" he asks, because he doesn't know what else to say. What are you supposed to say to the woman you just had sex with on the night of her engagement party to someone else?

"We should get back to the party," April says, ignoring his question. "Before someone else comes looking for us."

He turns to look at her, watching her duck her head to avoid eye contact. She runs a nervous hand over the front of her now creased dress, moving awkwardly before crossing the small room and unlocking the door. She pauses, her hand on the doorknob and her forehead resting against the wooden door frame.

"We should talk about this," he says to her, a lump in his throat.

She finally looks at him, her guilt filled eyes meeting his. April gives a small nod in response, running her tongue over her lip and pulling her eyes away. She hesitates, for the briefest of seconds, before opening the door and letting herself out the bathroom, going to resume her place with Matthew back at the party.


End file.
